Feeling Alone? You’re Not Alone. Here’s How I Push Through

By Matt Slonaker

Loneliness can hit hard. Whether it’s a new city, a tough breakup, or just the grind of working in high-pressure fields like banking and mortgage servicing, that empty feeling sucks. I’ve been there—new job, new tech like AI underwriting agents shaking things up, or just missing the camaraderie of a tight team. Here’s what I’ve learned about why it happens and how to get through it:

What Sparks It?

• Big Changes: Moving, switching roles, or losing a mentor can leave you feeling unmoored.
• Work Isolation: Remote work or long hours in financial services can make you feel like an island.
• Social Media Trap: Scrolling X or LinkedIn, seeing everyone’s “perfect” lives, can make you feel left out.
• Pressure of the Grind: In mortgage servicing, we’re juggling compliance, clients, and tech shifts. It’s easy to lose connection.

How I Deal

1. Own It: I admit when I’m feeling off. Journaling helps me pin down what’s triggering it—like a recent move or a quiet office. No shame in it; it’s human.
2. Small Connections Count: I’ll shoot a quick LinkedIn message to a colleague or comment on a post in a mortgage pros group. Even a coffee chat with a peer about Basel III or loan tech can spark a bond.
3. Get Moving: A 20-minute walk or hitting the gym clears my head. Bonus: I might nod at a neighbor or chat with someone at the coffee shop.
4. Lean Into Hobbies: I’ve been diving into writing books lately—nothing fancy, just experimenting with self publishing business books in story formats. It’s a mood-lifter and a chance to share trends and insights with friends/colleagues.
5. LinkedIn as a Lifeline: I’ve joined groups like “Mortgage Professionals Network” to swap ideas on digital transformation or reg compliance. Engaging there feels less lonely and keeps me sharp.
6. Self-Care Basics: Sleep, decent food, and a quick meditation (yeah, I use an app) keep me grounded.

If it’s more than a passing feeling, I’m not afraid to reach out for a convo with a counselor or pastor—they are clutch for this.

Pro Tip: Set one tiny connection goal a week. Last week, I messaged a contact about AI in lending, and it turned into a great chat. This week, I’m hitting a local fintech meetup.

Loneliness doesn’t define you—it’s just a signal to reconnect. Who’s got a go-to trick for beating the blues? Drop it below or DM me. Let’s keep the convo going. 💪

#Banking #MortgageServicing #sales #MentalHealth #Connection